You must have come across men and women who impress you on the very first meeting. You feel that he or she is an amiable person exuding warmth and friendliness. Warmth emanating from the person touches you like the soft shine of winter sun. In its more intense form this liking may take shape of love. It is love at first sight, the magic of a charismatic personality.
Will you like others to call you a charismatic personality ? You will give a quick nod ! There is no reason why you should not own such a personality-owner’s pride, neighbour’s envy. The qualities can be cultivated. It is a matter of developing certain habits and attitudes which produce a syndrome of a significant personality.
If you analyse the syndrome of an attractive and interesting personality, you observe that they are friendly, smile readily, and are up to something new. They are generous with appreciation, challenge stagnation and see things from your perspective, not their own.
Your blueprint for acquiring the type of personality you admire is to get into a new mould. People will think you are friendly if you give them some evidence. Do not wait for others to make friendly overtures to you. Take the initiative which helps crashing the barrier of silence.
Open conversations by such remarks as. “Is this your first visit here ?” Do you feel comfortable ?
Sometimes you can pay a compliment : “You seem to be good at this.” Or “I can see you are adept at it. You have a beautiful handwriting.” A request for help, guidance or information often also breaks the ice.
You must believe that the other person is going to respond well. Of course, it means taking a chance, but chances are you will get a positive response.
Another way of opening up is to offer help even when not asked for. Or to do something that will help someone to be more comfortable. You must act, take the initiative.
Shed your silence. You have been reticent too long. Start moulding your new personality now. Be more outgoing, more trusting. Start liking people and looking at the bigger, brighter side of life.
People are grateful if you break the ice, and will respond warmly. Occasionally you may be given the cold shoulder by a morose person, but do not let that discourage you. Feel sorry for him. There may be some reason for his action.
Do not allow frustrations to turn you from your long-range goal. Persevere. Friendly attitude soon becomes a habit and you are the gainer.
Let the other person talk about himself and his interests. All of us like to do this. We automatically warm to people who are unselfish and spur us to do it.
Lee Giblin in “How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People,” describes this as giving your conversation a ‘Unturn.’
A few simple questions will start most people. ‘How are you finding writing hobby ?’ ‘Are you getting much satisfaction from your music lessons ?’
People respond favourably to the smiler. You will recall how you like the person who smiles at you. A smile seems to say. ‘I like you,’ ‘I mean you good’. I wish you well so let’s be friends.’
Giving people ready smiles is your way of giving others the green. Lee Giblin says, “A real sincere smile works almost like a magic switch that turns on a friendly feeling in the other fellow immediately.”
It seldom occurs to some people to use this magic, switch, to the grea: impoverishment of their personalities.
At the University where I tauglr I met a young man who was not onh very handsome and well groomed but had high academic distinction Unfortunately it had never entered his brainy head to smile at people They regarded him, wrongly, a; morose, unfriendly and arrogant.
Lee Gibline actually suggests practicing smiling before a mirror to loosen the muscles. Give it a trail And see the effect. Now, get yourseb a mirror!
Now give a good broad smile Notice how much younger, better looking and attractive you look when you smile.
The moral is obvious. Determine to smile more often. Not half-hearted insipid, timid smiles, but full uninhibited radiant ones.
Practice before a mirror will help you develop this kind of magic smile It will also help you to form a mental picture of.the new, radiant, attractive you which you are determined to achieve.
Your smiles will be genuine ones if you develop a liking for other people and maintain a selfless desire for them.
Organise your life so that there is always something to which you mav look forward with joy and expectation.
Living thus in a continual glow of anticipation will do much to make you alive and alert. Your friends and acquaintance are going to find you more interesting as they get to know you are a person who always has something ‘in the pipe-line’ something novel, colourful, unpredictable.
New activities give both you and your friends something new to talk